So, here’s the thing…back last summer I started a blog about my breakup and divorce. I didn’t tell a soul about it. It was my plan to blog my horrid experience, and if someone stumbled upon it and it helped them, well so be it!
The thing is…I’d been keeping a journal for years and reached a point that I could no longer stand the crap that was filling its pages since my husband walked out the door with my friend. So, I totally stopped writing. Then I missed it. Horribly missed it but couldn’t open the journal…couldn’t find the will to start again…so I started a blog. And well, since I was viewing it like a personal journal…I didn’t tell anyone.
It was cathartic. It was faulous. It worked for me. IT WAS FANTASTIC.
Then, if you can imagine, through some ridiculous turn of events and computer mishandling, my 11 year old son inadvertently sent the link to his father and my blog was quickly shut down…after my ex had read EVERYTHING I’d written about him!
Thankfully I had no followers, I hadn’t used the childrens’ names, there were no identifying marks on it whatsoever…not even where I lived. But he’d read it. Which then had me reading it 100 times before I thought that maybe what he’d read wasn’t all that bad. Maybe he needed to read the crap I’d written for him to realize how much we were hurting. Maybe it was a good thing.
I have to believe it was a good thing!!
I’ve missed it. I’ve continued writing behind the scenes in a document but it’s really not the same thing. I keep thinking I’ll go back…write again…gather a following…I’VE GOT A LOT OF SHIT TO SHARE!!!
So Here I Go! For Robert and Kathy and Donna and Lara and all the people who tell me I should be writing…Here I Go! But, I’m going to try to not write about my divorce, not about the stuff I’ve been through, not about the horrors of moving on, moving past. Instead…I’m going to write about the trials and tribulations of moving forward, going it alone while raising three amazing children who drive me absolutely nuts, life the way I see it!
Yesterday my son saw a “Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred” workout DVD on the kitchen table. He looked at me in amazement and asked if I was working out now. I was THRILLED to tell him that yes, I had started working out!! He looked at me a little baffled, I thought possibly proud…. pleased…and then he responded with “you close the curtains right?”
NO! No actually I don’t.
The Curtains are Open!!!
Here I go my friends… here I go!