I woke up with a nasty cold. You know the kind where your head hurts, your nose is stuffed, and you simply feel like crap! A cold where you wake in the middle of the night and your blankets are all screwed up and you can’t get comfortable… you flip… you flop… you throw your blankets and pillows on the floor trying to make room for your miserable self but moments later gather them all up again and try to cocoon yourself until you’re throwing them to the floor again! Your head hurts, your throat’s sore and you realize it’s only one o’clock in the morning and there’s a full night ahead of this!
I’m jealous of all my friends going South… hanging out by the Ocean. I want one of their “vacation colds”… an “airplane” or an “air conditioning” cold. Every one of my friends has headed to one destination or another this last few weeks… all getting the sun and relaxation they need. Me… nope… no trip South… holding down the fort… paying the bills… waiting for summer… believe me I WOULD LOVE to be able to go.
It’s Dominican, Cuba, Mexico, Jamaica, Florida and everywhere else in between. Posting your photos of your ocean adventures. Meals in restaurants. Laughter, tans, drinks, beach, pool, sun! Seriously… I want a VACATION COLD!
No… maybe I want a “man cold”!! You know the cold… worse than any other kind of cold. An I can’t get off the couch… feel miserable… don’t think I can put the garbage out today.. can you bring me a glass of ginger ale kind of cold. A man cold. I want one of those colds.
I need tissues. Soft ones. The ones with lotion. Aloe or Vicks… the new tissues with Vicks!!! Have you tried those yet! It’s downright shocking to blow your nose with one of those… it’s like you’re a kid again and your momma just rubbed Vicks on your chest but instead it’s in a tissue! It’s unbelievable. It’s shocking at first… but then it’s downright addictive.
Have you been in the tissue aisle at the pharmacy? Tissues with lotion, aloe and eucalyptus. Antiviral, Hypo Allergenic and Everyday Tissues. Large Packs, Travel Packs, Kids Packs, Wipes. One ply, two ply, three ply! Cripes! The tissue market is simply brilliant. Tissues with Lotion… whoever thought of that is amazing! Except when you forget… your cold is over… sunglasses on… heading down the highway… cleaning the lenses and suddenly your glasses are a goopy mess of lotion… Yup… you used the lotion tissues!
Anyway… I’m poppin‘ pills, drinking teas… hoping for a better day tomorrow.
I want a Man Cold or a Vacation Cold. Actually… I don’t want a cold at all. Make that I want a Man!! Wait… a VACATION! Yup… I want a vacation!
Welcome home my friends… so sorry you have a cold!