Hip hip hooray…

My hip has been bothering me all day.  Sitting is an issue.  As is standing.  I’m popping muscle relaxants like M&M’s and really wish I had some of the delightful candy coated chocolate.  Can muscle relaxants give you the munchies?

I was born this way.  Blessed with  the genetics of both mother and father and some weird combination causing an issue with my ligaments, tendons and muscles… it made child birth a little iffy.  Actually… it was carrying the baby that was the tricky part as the ligament that cradles the baby in the womb didn’t work properly… hence the arthritis in the pelvic bone… and miserable deliveries.

Surgery at 18 fixed the biggest issue as everything in my legs needed to be shortened to keep my hip joints from slipping out of place.  I spent a bit of time in a wheelchair and physio to walk again and eventually everything worked wonderful…  plus I got in the back doors of most of the bars and had a few fantastic wheelchair adventures on the hills of downtown Halifax!  For the most part all works well, but there’s still the odd occassion that things get thrown out for no reason in particular… and I’m left out of sorts for a few days (throw in a nasty cold and the stomach flu this month and I feel like a hypochondriac… with a limp.)

Supposedly I’m never allowed to ski… or ride a horse… but I did neither this weekend.

I weeded.  Which can’t possibly be the reason for my hip getting thrown out… but the dandelions on the lawn are out of control and I did pull out a few doozies with roots so deep I was sure they were the beginning sprouts of a rhutabaga… so I guess it’s possible.

More likely it was the pleather boots and dancing from Saturday night’s “Rock the Joint” concert.  I don’t typically dance for this particular hip reason… but I may have gotten a little carried away.  It may have been the music from U2… but more than likely it was the beer at intermission… or the Goldschlager that my friend snuck in and desperately hid from the Rebecca Cohn usher who took her job VERY seriously.

Maybe it wasn’t the dancing at all but the simple fact that I’m turning a year older at the end of the month (though you’d never guess it from the sneaking of liquor into the Cohn!)  Regardless… it took me 20 minutes to carefully remove myself from the bed at 2:30 this morning without yelping in pain and another 10 to convince myself to sit down to pee!  Which is about the time I thought it was best to start popping pills.

I’m good once I’m either sitting or standing.  As long as I sit evenly in the chair… not putting too much weight on either side… and as long as I don’t walk up stairs of any kind.  But getting in either the sitting or standing position is agony.  I’d call Meghan Smith for “Cupping Therapy” but then she’d have to see my behind… and well… I’ve got good hair.

Two more hours and I can pop a few more pills.  Hopefully I’ll sleep for the night and feel good as new tomorrow… I’ve got weeding to do if I’m ever going to get this kitchen garden started…. the dandelions are gaining on me.

(Oh… and just in case you ever find yourself pregnant AND craving rhutabaga… here’s a little thing that worked for me.  Cook and mash the turnip… sprinkle crushed Captain Crunch all over the top and bake.  The very odd combination makes a delightful Creme Brulee type of a veggie dish that tastes awesome!  I’m thinking if you sprinkle a bit of Goldschlager on top and light it on fire it might be absolutely AMAZING!  You might not want to try that one when you’re pregnant… or popping muscle relaxants!)

I got the munchies.