Cooler than cool…

What’s this world coming to when you can’t drive your cooler down the street?  Next thing you know you won’t be able to drive your “motorized shopping cart” at the local Walmart!

Just the other day I stopped at a crosswalk to let two kids in their GI Joe Jeep make their way from one side of the street to the other… and it actually crossed my mind that it shouldn’t be allowed.  Then I shook my head.  Fact is I was in a horrible hurry… and the bald guy taking his little missus for a Sunday drive was a bit too slow for my liking!  People were smiling and waving… I sat at the crosswalk waiting patiently ’til they reached the other side then gunned it!  Proving the point that I could drive faster… and straighter I might add… than the kid in the jeep with his parents walking hand in hand next to him… totally a scene I was not in the mood for!

What is it with guys and jeeps anyway?  Driving with one hand, no door, roof blowing, spare tire banging, “I’d rather be Driving a Jeep” stickered, muddied up the side… trying to be cool vehicle.  It’s a jeep idiot… not a motorized cooler!

A man in New Waterford was fined $222 under the Motor Vehicle Act for driving his cooler on the sidewalk.  And worse… it only had a bottle of orange crush in it!  Years back I remember an old friend getting a DUI ticket for driving his bicycle down the sidewalk after a late night toga party… he actually lost points on his licence!  Can you imagine the ticket you’d get if you drove your motorized cooler through the drive thru liquor store dressed in a sheet?

Apparently it’s not cool to drive your cooler.  And yet… I’m thinking it’s absolutely brilliant!  I’ve been watching Bobby on Cougar Town drive around in his golf cart with a beer in hand… but a cooler would be so much cooler!  You could load er’ up… and drive er’ like you owned er’!  Heading to the neighbourhood party… running your iced brewskis through the dunes at the beach… driving up to the school fun fair!  The list of places you could go on a gas powered cooler is endless!

As my new friend in New Waterford has discovered… you can’t drive a motorized vehicle on the sidewalk… which would seriously make driving up to the school fun fair an issue!  Why is it that kids are allowed to drive those pesky motorized bicycles on the sidewalks… they sound like a cross between a lawn mower and a jet airplane… the noise factor alone should be a violation!  And more often then not the kids driving them are too cool to wear helmets!  How about those motorized scooters?  What about Barbie Jeeps?  Ride on lawn mowers?

I think it’s time for an amendment to the Motor Vehicle Act… where exactly are motorized vehicles allowed to be driven?  The Halifax Cycling Coalition has been fighting to improve conditions for cyclists including fighting for bicycle lanes.  They’ve made some headway for sure and are doing an amazing job… but with so few bicycle lanes, cyclists are often left with no option but to jump onto the sidewalk to get out of harms way!  I suggest we once and for all squash the fight to get proper bicycle lanes and start petitioning for cooler lanes!  Maybe we can use them to transport our garden fresh eggs and urban chickens to the market!  Oh yeah… never mind.

If you’re buying a motorized cooler, pick up one of those helmet contraptions that hold a couple of cans and connect with a straw.  You seriously shouldn’t hold a drink while driving a cooler.

I might put camping back on my online dating profile if I had a cooler from XtremeCoolers!!!!

My boy had a motorized corvette.  It was quite adorable watching him ride up and down the sidewalk in his shiny red car… much cooler than a jeep!

Help Fred Connors in his fight to keep Urban Chickens by signing a petition to change HRM Bylaws and check out the Halifax Chickens group on Facebook.