Shake your head…

Sometimes people tick me off.

Yup…every second weekend without kids might be thrilling to a lot of people out there…but honestly…I’d rather have my kids.

We all like our alone time but really and truly do you think it’s worth ending a marriage because you see someone gets a few nights out every now and then?

You know what I think? I think a family is worth it. I think kicking and fighting for your marriage when the crap hits the fan is what you owe yourself, your partner, your family…your kids. If you think someone has it better than you…then take a good hard look at yourself and see what it is you’re doing wrong…and if you can possibly fix it…then fix it. But try fixing it before you break it.

There are a lot of things I dream of in this world. I have this ridiculous notion in my head that some day there won’t be enemies…friends won’t go to war…won’t come back scarred and lost. I hope someday to win the lottery…help out my family and friends…buy that house I dream of on the lake with the wrap around deck so I can sit back with the people I love and enjoy their company…and hopefully someday curl up to someone I’d like to share it with. I hope to always be healthy…for my parents and brothers…my children…my cousins and their families…to not have to face hospitals and sickness…sadness and pain.

There are a lot of things I want in this world I’m living in…but definitely I never once wished that I’d have every second weekend to myself without my children.

I can see where you’d see it…how I’m changing…how I’m happier than I’ve been in years.  I can see how you’d look at me and think…yup…not having to be accountable to anyone would be a good thing. Doing what you want…when you want…how you want…might be a good thing. But did I wish for it? If I could turn back time I would! I’d have fixed the things that were broken and I’d have broken the things that needed fixing. While you see the end result…me happy…you should know I’ve worked incredibly hard to get to where I am right now.

Don’t look at me and say “I make divorce look good”. No one makes divorce look good. Take one hard look at those children you’d like to only have every second weekend and see if it’s worth it.

I for one know it isn’t.