Something about sticking my picture on a dating site makes me feel a little…I don’t know…desperate?
Folks keep saying it’s the only way to do it. It’s two thousand ten. You’re not gonna meet someone in a bar. You need to put yourself out there. You can’t meet anyone hanging out on your couch. It’s been over a year now. You can’t pine away forever. Everyone’s doing it.
But I don’t know…it seems kinda…cheesy.
Maybe it’s my lack of trust in men with names like LOOKIN4U, SNAKLUVR, BEEN_BURNED, CHEKMEOUT, YOURHERO, MAKEMELAFF and NICEGUY who all seem to be looking for an attractive, fit, energetic, fun to hang out with woman offering in return a walk on the beach, candle light dinners, cuddles on the couch, romantic adventures and love!
Then there’s the multiple sailing names that send me over the edge like YOURBUOY, SAILMATE, SEAOFLOVE, WAVE2ME, KEELOVER and SAIL_HER.
Blah blah blah blah gross! Maybe that’s what my name should be if I ever get around to making myself a profile. GROSSEDOUT.
After I finally come up with a name that’s supposed to attract attention…not that the photo of me standing next to my beautiful girlfiends wouldn’t…I need to come up with a statement about myself.
“Vivacious, curvy, 30 something interested in…”
All they see is curvy. And let me tell you… at 5ft 8 and bald what are they complaining about!
Why are you all shorter than me? What happened to your hair? Is that a high school photo? Are you holding a snake? Is it possible that tux you’re wearing is from a wedding picture? Whose hand is on your shoulder? Why won’t you show your entire body? Do I know you? Are you wearing pants? And why does everyone have one of those free corona hats?
It sucks. How’s… “Hilarious, could be thinner, 40 something interested in getting off her couch, not growing into her pyjama pants, owning a pair of underwear that doesn’t have the elastic stretched out or a bra where the underwire isn’t poking through the fabric. Enjoys a walk in the park…with someone other than her dog. Owns her own home… not that it’s any of your business. Has a few kids…that you’ll probably never meet. Drinks when the mood strikes her and periodically has hot flashes. Looking for someone who’s extremely good looking, kind and considerate of others, attentive, over six foot, has a great job, owns his own home with a pool and a weekend cottage. Preferably without a sailboat. Definitely not married.”
Am I asking too much?
Maybe online dating isn’t for me at the moment…but if you know someone who fits my criteria…send them my way and I’ll give it a shot.
And tell him not to wear his corona hat! There’s somethin’ fishy about a guy in a straw hat!