Facebook Timeline…

I don’t think Facebook was necessarily singling me out to be mean…but the fact is, by the end of the evening I’d been so beaten down I could hardly breathe.

It’s this new “Timeline” thing they’ve come up with. Every single post, picture, link, comment, share and like since you first started using the beast…all laid out for you to see. Re-living all the fun, adventure and crap for the last few years complete with a seven day offer to “clean it up” before the rest of your friends have the privilege of seeing the crap too…as if the first time wasn’t enough!

My seven days is up on Christmas Day…so for the last few evenings I’ve been somewhat forced to go back “there”…picking away at deleting, hiding and un-tagging month after month of stuff…one item at a time.

I joined Facebook in April 2007…soon after discovering it was something The Tall Blond was using on a regular basis and realizing the great need for us to be “friends”…but not friends in the regular sense of the word as she’d probably label it “watchdog!” On more than one occasion I had status updates and comments removed and at one point had to deal with an outrageous case of bullying! I’m more than aware of how insensitive and brazen kids can be online. While I don’t have to monitor The Tall Blond anymore, recently Spiderman joined in the fun and I’m back to being watchdog once again!

Timeline had me revisiting the last few years and while I creeped more than commented in 2007, 2008 had me adding more information in what I’ve come to see now as my incredibly boring life. I was living for the days my husband…now ex…came home from working a job “on the road” while in between I cleaned the house, cooked the meals and drove kids to various sporting events. I was 100%, foolishly, desperately, madly in love and as the year was nearing an end, I was enjoying the holidays with family and friends with no idea what was ahead for 2009.

Re-reading the status updates, I found myself more than once wanting to yell at the screen to warn myself of the coming doom!

While my life looked completely and entirely boring, I was blissfully happy and to this day, still have a hard time believing it was something other than what I thought it was. Looking back…with it all laid out in front of me…one boring status update after the next…it’s no wonder I shattered as hard as I did.

2009 started with much anticipation for the year ahead…and on January 9th, all status updates came to an abrupt stop.

Oddly enough, in some ways it’s making “the cleanup” a little easier…in others, this “timeline” has me reliving a time I really didn’t want to relive and I’m thankful this new rollout is happening now and not a year ago when there’s no way I could have handled it!

By the time I got out of bed a few months later, my status updates started back…all of them quite cryptic. However, with each and every one I know the stories behind the status and in one large sweep the other night, I blindly deleted multiple posts.

Along with repeating the fallout of my marriage through this cleanup process, I relived the loss of two of my grandparents, realized I lost a few friends that I’d blocked or un-friended and hurt once again over the loss of my sweet dog, Pumpkin.

2010 and 2011 I worked at putting the past behind me…my life became pretty entertaining if I do say so myself. I’ve enjoyed one adventure after the next with a group of women who keep me laughing with their ridiculous antics on a daily basis. I’ve grown stronger as each year, month and day has passed and feel truly blessed for every status update and comment that has brought me here. I went from being in a relationship to being single to finding an amazing love this year…a love I will never lose as I’ve finally discovered what it’s like to love myself and in the process…everything else has fallen wonderfully in place!

Facebook’s timeline has given me a glimpse of my life over the last few years. I’m desperately trying to find the time, during a crazy busy week, to get it all cleaned up as I’m a huge fan of social media…but one thing is pretty clear when your world and everyone in it is laid out in front of you…Life is tough…but it’s also incredibly Rewarding and Awesome!

Here’s to 2012 being even better than the one before…leaving you with status updates, friends, comments, tags and photos you won’t need to blindly delete in the future!

I “like” that.