It’s probably too early to be making fun of the cone around Zuke’s neck… but it’s been eight months since The Tall Blonde lost then regained her eyesight… so she’s fair game!
If you recall… a disaster with contact lens solution had my eldest unable to see and in a great deal of pain as every cell on both corneas was burned. I’m not rehashing how it all went down, but if you’d like the details… check out the Nurse Mom and Blind as a Bat posts.
What I didn’t tell you at the time… once the mass amount of worrying was over and we were assured her sight would be restored… was how astronomically useless I was! Add to that… I usually use comedy to get me through my stressful days… and… well… let’s just say I was hilarious!
My poor girl… unable to see and sensitive to light… was left with not only a ridiculous mother but a pathetic seeing eye dog. I failed miserably… on both counts! In fact, it was approximately the third time I walked her into a wall that she realized she couldn’t trust me. In defence for her lack of trust, I’d slammed her into the wall mere moments after I dropped my humungous purse in front of her feet causing her to stumble and only minutes before that… I’d allowed a fellow to wheel over her toes in his wheelchair!
OK… truth be told… I was texting! So, let me make something abundantly clear… texting while someone who can’t see is clinging to your arm is probably not the best idea but the thing is, we were at the hospital and I’d seen someone I hadn’t seen in a while and I had to… at that very moment… let all of my girlfriends know!
Who can blame me?
Sadly, the next day… I did something worse.
After the texting accident from the previous day, The Tall Blonde was questioning my every move but all I had to do was walk her into the waiting room at the eye clinic, get her situated in her chair, then go to the front desk and check her in.
Which I did. Perfectly. Except, well… the thing is… who doesn’t know to turn around to sit when placed in front of a chair?
I had just walked away to head to the reception desk when I heard the thump… followed by her loud exclamation of “are you freaking kidding me?”
Except that it was a different “F” word and while I’m not accustomed to hearing my children curse… I let it go. To be perfectly honest… I was too busy waving off the people in the waiting room begging them not to laugh to even notice she’d offended me!
That night… when her friend brought her the wonderful Suzy’s Shortcake Cupcake to make up for the terrible abuse she was enduring… I probably shouldn’t have taken it from her plate. In fairness to me, I eat when I’m stressed and besides, she’d already finished most of it and everyone knows if you’re going to buy a pastry for one person you really should buy them for everyone! Regardless, I shouldn’t have eaten it.
Five minutes later, there she was… flopping and flailing her hand back and forth over the plate in desperate search for the remaining cupcake as I tried to ignore what was happening next to me but well… it looked really funny. Even funnier when I told her what I’d done and she tried to whack me as I ducked her thwarted attempts!
I love my kids… my dog… seriously love them to bits and would do anything for them including staying up to give them their pain meds and spending the night staring at them to make sure they’re alive but honestly… once I know everything is ok… I kind of get bored.
And that’s when things get silly.
Eight months ago, The Tall Blond spent a number of days unable to see, highly medicated and under the care of a mother who found humour through it all… most of it… some of it… ok… there were only a few moments!
This week, Zucchini has a cone on her head, won’t stop whining, is full of pain meds and won’t get off my lap and eventually… I’ll fill you in on the laughter.
Just as soon as I can find the humour!
But chances are… I’ll find the humour.