Feeling better…

So far, January has sucked!

It started with The Tall Blonde’s ski accident which, along with a great amount of “mom stress”, caused me to miss several days of classes. Then, with the help of a blast of meds and a puffer four times a day, I managed to fight off the beginning signs of Pneumonia without skipping a beat. However, three days ago, Bones got a nasty cold and despite me wanting to run and hide for fear of getting sick…I was there to cuddle up next to her and give her a little extra love.

As repayment for all of my care…she took me down with her.

I’m stressed to be home. Torn between having somewhere to be and needing to take care of my child. How on earth are you supposed to balance being a Mom with all of the other things that are so important? What’s worse? Letting myself down, letting my kids down, or letting the rest of the people who are counting on me down? Pick one.

It’s probably lucky for Bones that I caught her cold as there’s a part of me who knows that if I didn’t, based on the time I’ve missed already, I’d be at school while she spent the day hacking and coughing in her bed…no one there to bring her fluids or answer with an “I know honey” for every time she stated she was sick.

However, If I did go, I’d be at school feeling awful for not being at home instead of currently being at home feeling horrible for not being in class. It’s lose lose.

I truly believe that raising a family is the single most important job in the world and if at all possible, and if at all willing, Mom’s are better off staying at home to raise their children!

While taking frequent trips to the spa.

On more than one occasion, when The Tall Blonde was young, I chose work over mom duties and with a bit more experience behind me, I’m left with a whole ton of guilt and the knowledge of what’s most important.

If I think about it…my age and where I was in my career…I don’t know that I “chose” work over being a mom so much as I didn’t have a “choice.” I HAD to be at work. Being a mom was a sign of weakness. Being pregnant was practically shunned upon.

Regardless, before finally becoming a stay-at-home mom…I put my career ahead of my children. And I was wrong.

Much as I’m missing another day of school and feeling the guilt and stress that goes along with it…I’m where I belong. Nursing a cold that I’d normally fight while spending the day with my youngest who still needs her mom.

And just as that hits me…Bones steps into the room.

Feeling a wee bit better after three days in bed…with a shiny, red nose and a grin on her face…she hands me a cup of tea, kisses my cheek and asks how I’m feeling.

Much better now my love…much better now.