I’ve started and abandoned three blog posts since Friday…when school ended.
I’m torn. A little lost. Thrown for a loop with everything that’s before me and not because I didn’t see it coming…just because it’s here.
Two years ago, I walked into that classroom…absolutely bitter. A “forced” return to school had me clinging to my former life as I watched my house turn to chaos. I didn’t want to be there.
Slowly, things settled. I managed to fit in every hockey game and trip to the barn…spent time with friends and family and managed to get all of my work done on time. It was crazy…with limited sleep and my home taking a beating…but it worked.
It helped that my parents pitched in wherever they could and my former mother-in-law filled my freezer with wonderful food on numerous occasions. It helped that my friends were supportive and encouraging and never made me feel guilty for not being there for them. It helped that my children understood…and were proud.
And it helped that eventually…I stopped feeling bitter.
On Friday, as we sat in a pub next to NSCC’s Waterfront Campus, twenty something Graphic Design students and our wonderful instructors, raising a glass and toasting our futures…it was bittersweet.
This group of young people I’ve spent every day of my last two years with…they’ve become part of this journey I’ve been on.
And I’m scared to move forward without them.
There’s much excitement that lies ahead but to start with…I’m cleaning this house! As soon as this post is finished and my morning cup of tea is gone, I’m ripping through closets and cupboards, scrubbing down walls, moving furniture and ridding myself of two years of accumulated garbage and crap! I’ve a to-do list the length of my arm that will take me a week to pound through before I feel like things are in order again.
And from there…my new life unfolds.
A new company.
A new beginning.
I’m excited and overwhelmed and scared and terrified and absolutely thrilled for what lies ahead. Albeit sad…for that classroom of friends.
Who sat by me. Put up with me. Encouraged and supported me. Asked about my children. Listened to my stories. Sought my advice. Laughed at my ridiculous jokes and included me in everything they were doing despite the twenty years between us.
I’ll miss being in that room everyday with these amazing people but the reality is, they won’t be far.
For in my heart, there’s a whack of crazy artists…who helped me discover who I really was…who I was meant to be.
And helped me move on.