Last night was a little surreal.
My friend Sharon, standing next to me with a smile on her face, told me to take a moment to look around. Really see what was happening before me.
She went on to explain how just a few short years ago, I was headed back to school after struggling through a divorce…facing new changes that I was terrified of facing.
As we stood in the doorway of Mudwraps to Manicures, surrounded by so many people who were there for my book launch…she pointed out my three wonderful, beautiful, supportive children; my friend Lisa who hosted the entire event; and so many dear friends who are always beside me.
It was an atmosphere of love and joy as we were entertained for the evening by my friend Matt…then sat back and listened as The Tall Blonde threw all caution aside, sitting in front of the mic for the very first time to show us her fabulous voice…then basked in pure happiness as my neighbour, Pam, belted out a Janice Joplin classic.
It was overwhelming at best.
Goosebumps filled my arms as my heart swelled with pride and tears couldn’t help but escape my eyes.
This is not a dream.
So much that I’ve fought for and struggled through…is now my reality. Trying to be a good mom in the face of adversity. Trying to re-discover a new life and find who I’d lost in the process. Not knowing where I fit, where I belonged, who to trust…how to go from where I was to where I am…thinking I’d lost everything…but discovering so much more.
At the end of the night, unable to think, eventually…I fell asleep exhausted. Overwhelmed. My mind…not fully able to comprehend everything before me.
I’m not sure where I’m heading…how I got from there to here without the support and love of so many people. I’m not sure if it will all work out…if these dreams will fall into place…if there’s more ahead.
All I know is that right now, this very instant, I need to stand in the doorway with everything in front of me…and breathe it all in.
For despite every bit of heartache that I’ve been through…despite the fear of not believing I was “good enough” or the pain of moving forward…Love Wins.