Grazed…

So…yesterday, I sort of, kind of, ish…got hit by a car. Like…there was dirt on my pants and coat where the car totally grazed me…after I’d jumped out of the way…and slipped on the ice…and my elbow clocked their side mirror.

And OMG I TOTALLY GOT HIT BY A CAR!!!

On a cross walk at that!

Where, if a woman hadn’t screamed bloody murder and I hadn’t looked in her direction, I wouldn’t have seen the car coming at me…with no intention to stop…making me leap forward in a weird twisty move that, today, has me sore from shoulder to ass on one entire side of my body.

Mind you…it beats what would be hurting if I hadn’t leapt out-of-the-way of the old fella in the Mercedes who was paying little to no attention to the road.

Oddly enough, only a few days before, while Mudwraps was putting together a video of my family and friends for my book launch…we jokingly said that if I were to suddenly die, they’d have the perfect presentation for my funeral!

It’s quite possible I should have knocked on wood after I made that ridiculous comment!

Anyway…it’s holiday shopping time…the malls are packed, people are distracted and everyone is in a massive hurry so SLOW THE SHIT DOWN AND PAY ATTENTION TO THE ROAD!

Today, I’m dragging this sore body around and counting my blessings…I might even pop into Mudwraps to get a much-needed massage.

Besides, I should probably take another look at my funeral presentation…just in case!