My kids are perfect…sort of…not really…ish?

Photo by Christen Roper.

The other night, a friend commented about what a great mom I am…how wonderful my kids are…how she loves reading the stories about them…about their successes and achievements. She asked how I did it…what my “trick” was.

Well, here’s the thing…

I only blog about the good stuff!

Yes, I believe my kids are fantastic. I carry a smile in my heart because I have, at this very moment, exactly what any mom wants…my children are healthy and happy. However, while I’m telling you of all of the fabulous things they’re involved in…all of the things that they succeed with and the moments of joy…know this….it’s not all peaches and cream.

I don’t tell you about the tough times.

It’s not that I’m keeping secrets. It’s simply that those parenting moments are more private. They’re such, that a blog post isn’t really appropriate…for my privacy, and the privacy of these three people I would do anything for.

I’m raising teens in an age of social media…and I’m a mom blogger. While I could tell you a great many things that have taken me by surprise, thrown me for a loop, caused many a sleepless nights…I choose not to.

So, if you’re wondering what my “trick” is…before you judge your parenting skills against mine…you should know there are moments when I think I’m losing my mind…where I wish I had someone to lean on. There are moments where I make a decision and discover I’m completely wrong. The thing is, sometimes I think I suck at this mom stuff and sometimes I think I’m awesome…and when I think I suck they think I’m great…and when I think I’m awesome, they’re unimpressed! Sometimes I’m left wondering what I did wrong…trying to figure out how I can change it for next time because if there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s this…there’ll always be a next time.

While many of these moments would make for great reading…where I could probably use your advice and support…I choose not to share. But, I don’t think I’m doing anything different from what parents have been doing for generations…telling the wonderful stories but keeping the tough stuff a little closer to our chests…relying on our closest friends and family members to help us negotiate the rough roads.

What I can tell you is simple…my “trick”…the thing that works for good and bad…what’s gotten me through the teen years for one and is helping as I head there with the next two…it’s communication.

While I was never that “friend mom”…I can honestly say that now, with The Tall Blonde in her early twenties, about to graduate and head into the world to figure out a life for herself…she is, without a doubt, one of my very best friends. I look forward to the day I can say the same about Spider-Man and Bones…but first, there’s a bit more work to do!

Parenting isn’t easy…for any of us no matter what our situations. But, with love and patience, holding them close while they’re pushing away, seeking advice from those who’ve been there…it’s a bit more tolerable. With laughter, a willingness to listen…by telling them they’re wonderful when they’re wonderful, that you’re disappointed when they disappoint you, that you’re proud and will be there no matter what…it’s incredibly rewarding. By listening to your heart and trusting your instincts…keeping the lines of communication open as best as you can…that’s how I hope to raise healthy, happy kids.

Like everything in my life, I choose to only tell you a small portion. So, if you’re thinking I’ve these perfect kids who never make mistakes…or that I’m the mom who has it all figured out…think again! There is no magic formula…I’m thankful for the days I get things right…and those are the moments I share. I’m lucky that my kids are wading through all of this without anything major and while I’m missing out on writing about some poignant, crazy, difficult and sometimes rather funny moments…I still think it’s the way my blog works for my family.

As moms, as parents…we’re all looking for answers…all seeking advice. We have a tough enough time figuring this out without judging and comparing our parenting moments against someone else’s. Don’t believe everything you read on-line! I’m telling you part of my story…the very best parts!

6 Replies to “My kids are perfect…sort of…not really…ish?”

  1. So very eloquent as usual! Great seeing you the other night and I’m sure I will be seeking some advice when I hit those ‘terrifying’ teen years 😉

  2. Love This! A great reminder we are all in this parenting world together! (So is it all right to have your number on speed dial)?????

  3. Lovely post! I think everyone puts forth what they wish to share and highlight the most. There’s sharing “stuff” and then there is a lot of personal “stuff” that isn’t necessarily for public consumption.

    Once again, finding some sort of balance is the goal.

    I think you do a great job. I love hearing about the great things your kiddos do.. or your own personal triumphs.

    They say comparison is the killer of joy. It’s true.
    We all have lots of chapters in our stories. There’s enough living going on that we need not compare, anyway!

  4. Great post! It is so important to remind ourselves AND others not to compare ourselves to lives we see playing out on the internet. While there is truth to our internet-lives, it isn’t the whole-story.

    Have I told you that your kids are SO gorgeous. Seriously.