This morning, while reading through my Facebook news feed, I saw this quote on one of the Women in Business networking groups I belong to…and it completely resonated with me.
You see…yesterday I had my first panic attack in many years. Then today, I woke feeling groggy and a little overwhelmed with a shaking in the corner of my eye. I knew that a migraine would grab hold if I didn’t act quickly.
Both, I was able to fight off…a little…but the panic came much closer to the surface than I wanted and where usually a little mind trickery and visualization can ward it off…this time it was fighting to come out.
I breathed. Rolled with it a little and tried to contain it…until I felt more calm.
So here’s the problem…shit hit the fan this week. Nothing traumatic, nothing to do with work or health…nothing tragic…nothing with the kids…just this one lone piece of straw that broke this camel’s over-humped/over-scheduled back.
So fight or flight took over…and apparently, my brain decided that flight made more sense!
Stress plays with each of us differently and for me…while I can handle a great amount…there’s this shut-down switch that yells the big F-U to my brain and decides when enough is enough.
Yesterday…was that day.
There’s a lot of wonderful things happening in my life…most especially that my kids are fantastic, my parents are healthy and my career is absolutely blossoming. However, while I’m chasing rainbows and unicorns and making sure everything runs seamlessly around here…it only takes one thing to throw it all off kilter.
Today…I cleaned my house from top to bottom in order to get a grip on the chaos that hits me each moment I walk in the door. Over the weekend, I’m taking a little time to care for myself…I could use a brow wax, a pedi, maybe book the massage from that coupon that’s been sitting on my counter since Mother’s Day…I’m going to put my feet up, relax, go through some paper work and get a few things organized off my personal to-do list…not the work one…the one I’ve been ignoring. I might go shopping…chances are I’ll buy shoes.
Because I’ve come to believe that taking care of myself is not self-indulgent.
Caring for myself is an act of survival.