Needing the help of a Mom…

Photo Credit: Kirsten Mann
Photo Credit: Kirsten Mann

There are times, when I need the help of a friend, without knowing I need the help of a friend but apparently…they know better than me.

This week, Bones spent the week in Cape Breton with Volleyball Nova Scotia, in hopes of making a spot on the Provincial Team.

To be completely honest, I was worried about her…quite a bit in fact.

Three months ago, Bones kind of did her back in. Her muscles from serving were built up on one side…but not both. The strain from the muscles had pulled on her spine creating the beginning signs of scoliosis (in her case quite treatable)…and along with the curved spine, one hip was raised to compensate and therefore, her legs weren’t balanced.

Essentially, she was a shit show! Her muscles weren’t in the right places…and things were getting pulled and pushed in all the wrong ways.

Since April, we’ve been visiting with Dr. Cora-Lee Peddle at Glenbourne Chiropractic and Carolyn Bishop Massage Therapy at least once a week…sometimes more depending on whether or not she had a competition coming up or had just come home from one.

Her spine straightened over a few weeks of adjustments, her legs are now balanced…her muscles are a bit more work and are being stripped and un-tightened and readjusted to her new, more proper and straightened spine. All the while, Bones made it clear that she wasn’t taking a break from volleyball and that if the professionals could help her work through it…she’d put up with the discomfort as long as she wasn’t damaging herself.

To her…volleyball came first.

They’ve been amazing in all they’ve been able to accomplish with her…both physically and mentally.

And I’ve been nervous.

As Club volleyball season ended, Bones began to play a few nights a week of “Beach” in order to keep herself in the game. Never having played much before, she’s finding the challenge of running on uneven sand, diving for the ball and reaching behind her while her back is weak…but still, she continues to play for the love of the game and the thrill of great coaching…knowing that every time she steps on a court, whether it’s inside or out, she’s becoming a better player. She’s been a trooper, is having fun, and has lofty goals and dreams for where volleyball can take her.

“Competition is really hard,” “I’m broken,” and “Everything hurts but don’t worry about me I’m fine,” were just a few of the comments I’d been texted this week.

Along with “I’m meeting sooooo many boys!”

With the exception of the the last comment that made me laugh, the others had me uptight…wondering if she knows enough to ice and tape and Advil and STOP if things went too far. Or, was she just going to go for it…with all caution thrown to the wind as I’ve seen her do before.

She’s determined. Focused. And a little too stubborn for my liking.

This past week, I’ve missed her. Missed mothering her. (Some would say babying her.) Missed the time we spend together in the car on our way to Beach Volleyball, Riding and her various appointments…missed making sure she was ok…missed being ok with it all myself.

On Monday evening, folks were arriving in Cape Breton for the final tournament of the week…where the next day, the athletes would each have an “exit interview” with the coaches to see whether or not they’d made the team.

I wasn’t there.

While I dropped her off days before her father was doing the pick up and though I’d considered going…another drive, another hotel, time away from work…it just didn’t make sense.

But boy oh boy did I feel it.

And then, I received a text from Ann Mann, a volleyball mom from our Club Team, telling me she’d just given Bones a great big hug, that she looked tired but “better than some”…that she had a great attitude about it all and sounded like she’d be fine if she didn’t make it. That she’d learned a lot.

I needed that text.

Not for what Ann was saying so much…but more that she was there. That she’d given Bones a great big hug, that she’d “checked in,” that she’d acted like a mom for Bones…and a friend for me.

The next morning I couldn’t settle. I posted to my personal FB wall that I was on pins and needles waiting on word from the gym. Friends and family weighed in…sent their good luck messages…told me to hang in there as many of them have been in the same position as I have…many times…waiting on news that their children want to hear. Knowing the disappointment if they don’t.

And then…another text.

This time, with a photo and the caption “Waiting for her exit interview.”


The smile on her face delighted me.

Then, not so long after, another text to let me know they’d just called her in to meet with the coaches.

And I held my breath.

Waited…patiently…anxiously. Remembering how last year she’d come out of her meeting crying…how awful I felt for her before realizing they were tears of joy!

“Don’t trust if she’s crying when she comes out” I texted.

And then the next text…


Followed by this photo…


Of the surprised look on her face…mixed with laughter and a great many tears.

Followed by a text from Bones that simply said…”I made it”…one that explained how it was all “insane,” another telling me she was a little “in shock” and a few disappointed texts as some of her friends were sent home.

Finally, the one that said “love u so much Mom.”

Me…I texted Ann. I thanked her for the updates and photos. Thanked her for knowing how I was feeling back home…for filling me in at all the right moments, making me part of the process, keeping me informed…and making me feel like I was there.

Because sometimes, without knowing it, you need the help of a Mom.

(Other times, you need the help of Chiro and Massage, some amazing Coaches, fabulous friends and Teammates, and soooooo many boys…but mostly, you need the help of a Mom.)



It’s that time of year again to vote for the Best of Halifax! If you’re a fan of a local restaurant, musician, clothing store or coffee shop…if you know the best place to go on a date or walk your dog…or if you have an opinion on who the best politician is, what the best thing to happen to Halifax this year was, or who happens to be the best local Twitterer…Please take a few moments to throw a vote their way. It really does mean a lot to local businesses!

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8 Replies to “Needing the help of a Mom…”

  1. Great news ! I know how hard they all work to achieve their goals…but they’d never make it without the love and support of their family:)

    • I truly believe that supporting kids in anything they do…is part of what makes them so fantastic.

  2. I love Ann Mann!!! (And just saying her name:) She supports women she knows and those she doesn’t! Has been a wonderful supporter of Adsum House Women’s Shelter for years! I love stories of the strength of womanhood!!! Great post, Colleen!!!

  3. You know that old saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” Still true today. Beautiful post. Congratulations to your girl…and you!

    • Thanks Tammy…if it wasn’t for the Village I’m not sure how my kids would turn out! 🙂

  4. First of all, I am so happy for Bones! That’s a very stressful tryout process and having the news delivered in front of peers can’t be easy at all. Congratulations to her! I hope you have a HUGE crowd at the game!

    Secondly, Mom friends are amazing. I don’t know your friend in particular, but I know that Mom, you know? She’s great! I am so happy that you have that kind of circle of support around you and your (not so) tiny trio. Beautiful. The smiling Bones photo is perfect!

    So much good news! Great post.

    • It truly is a stressful process. I’m not sure how they could change it…but seeing the kids come out one at at time after their meetings…trying to hold it all together…not gloat in front of their teammates if they made it and not fall apart if they don’t…it’s really awkward and miserable and beautiful and awful all at the same time!