You still there? Thanks for waiting…

I feel better now.

Mostly.

Emotionally and mentally, I feel a lot less broken. With the exception of the odd moment, my brain seems to be working the way it’s supposed to be working which is a whole lot more than I can say about how things were six months ago.

While I put off going on meds as I was trying to be some kind of “hero”…I did a gross injustice to myself. I needed the meds. That’s it and that’s all.

As for my physical health…well, for starters, if you saw me on InstaStories last week wearing a wild contraption on my head as it tested my sleeping…the results are in and along with the Insomnia I’ve been struggling with for months, it turns out I have Sleep Apnea.

So, yayyyy for me!

I’ve been a heavy snorer for a long time and my friend Kathy has been after me to get this test for quite some time…which I have put off until now for a good many reasons. Chances are, as soon as she reads this post, she’s going to text me an “I told you so” so Kathy, if you’re reading this…you were right! Also, can you text me a photo of you doing something silly like doing a headstand rather than an “I told you so” and we’ll call it a day and never speak of it again! (Although I might post the photo of you doing a headstand!)

As for my sinuses, I have an appointment in a few more weeks with a specialist but ironically, my sense of smell came back a few days ago and what a delight that’s been! Well, except for the fact that I finally smelled my dog’s farts and totally get what everyone has been complaining about as that pup is RANK!

My hips…I’m still waiting for an appointment for those but still, we’re moving ahead with all of my other complaints and ailments and my doctor has been fantastic getting me back on track. One thing at a time…it’s all getting sorted out.

As for Menopause…that’s been nothing short of miserable. The night sweats, hot flashes and insomnia are ridiculous…but thankfully, the Fall weather is a bit of an improvement so I’m dressing in layers and peeling clothing off where, by week’s end, half the contents of my closet can be found in various rooms throughout my home!

Speaking of the house…it’s still on the market but lots of folks have been coming through saying lovely things so I guess we’ll just have to wait until the right person discovers it.

And who is this “we” that I speak of? I’ve not idea why I still use that term as it’s really just me. And, considering I’m getting a sleep apnea machine…it just might be me from this point forward as I can’t quite figure out how to word “heavy mouth breather who sometimes stops altogether for periods of time and therefore sleeps with a machine to push oxygen up her nostrils” on my tinder profile.

I guess I could place it right next to “blows through a box of tissues each day,” “wakes in a drench of sweat,” “walks with a bit of a limp,” and “cracks whenever she stands.”

I kid…I kid…there’s no tinder profile and I’m happily enjoying life on my own but I did suggest to my friend Donna that if one more thing came up, she had my permission to send me to a glue factory to which she responded, “I’m not sure your kind of glue would be good at holding anything together.”

Honest to goodness…thank God for friends who keep you laughing!

So, I think I’m back to blogging. I’ve had quite the hiatus as I get my head under control and folks have been so dear to check in to see how I’m doing. My kids have been a constant support of love and encouragement as have my family and a good number of wonderful friends and clients.

Thank you so very much for sticking around while I’ve gone through my thing. When it comes down to why I stopped sharing on the blog…I quite simply lost my drive to write with everything else going on…and I needed to take a break to give myself a little room to breathe…you know, put your oxygen mask on first and then help others (I just hadn’t anticipated actually needing an oxygen mask in the form of this sleep apnea machine I’m about to purchase!!)

Yesterday was World Mental Health Day…a day to support one another by talking openly and honestly about mental health. Please remember there are another 364 days in the year, and plenty of folks who could use a helping hand when the going gets tough!

I’m still here…thanks for waiting.

15 Replies to “You still there? Thanks for waiting…”

    • Hopefully it swirls a little less moving forward. Thank you for being so awesome. xo

  1. You always manage to both inspire me and make me laugh…that’s one hella gift you have. Cheers to #thisis50 πŸ˜‚ xo

  2. Colleen, I’m happy to hear you’ve made progress with your health. I can assure you that getting the sleep apnea machine will make a huge difference in your energy level. A couple of my friends were diagnosed and the machine has helped them enormously with their energy and making it through the day without falling asleep at work. Having said that, I have insomnia many nights… I may go check out the snore shop as well. 😜

  3. Well you sure have been tackling many things, and good for you getting tests done, talking to doctors, not ignoring your mental health… I’m a firm believer that lots of the things you’ve mentioned can be attributed to the wonderful world of menopause (except maybe the sleep apnea). I hope you continue to feel better. Your sense of humour is definitely back! -Jenn

  4. Love this post! So glad you’re back in the bloggy saddle. Would be interested to read a post about sleep apnea. I snore occasionally and never considered that I might have it, but I’ve been sleeping 9 hours a night and still feeling exhausted, so my doctor says it’s a possibility.