I’ve had a few folks ask how much I’ve lost over the last few months…but the truth is…I have NO IDEA. I’ve actually not stood on the scales since I started on this lifestyle change and wellness journey.
So…it begs to question, why haven’t I stood on the scales and what’s holding me back as it’s not for lack of curiosity!
If I’m being completely honest here, part of me is afraid it’s not going to be as much as I’d like it to be and I don’t want the disappointment to derail my motivation.
But even more than that…I started this wellness journey to feel healthier…not because I wanted to be skinny.
And let me explain that further…
OF COURSE I WANT TO BE SKINNY! I’d love to not feel awkward about eating and being uncomfortable about the way people view me. I’d love to shop at regular stores and have many more options for what I can wear. I’d love to not feel that I stand out like a sore thumb when I’m out on the town with my fit and fabulous girlfriends (who by the way, have never made me feel awful about my weight but it’s me who feels bad about it) and I’d love to step on a plane and not worry if the seatbelt will fit or the tray will go down.
So yes…I’d love to be much lighter than I am.
But, despite year after year of feeling uncomfortable in my skin and wishing I was thinner…I simply didn’t have the willpower to do something about it. And if “wishing” burned calories…I’d be a solid hundred pounds lighter just from dreaming the weight away!
It wasn’t until I really and truly felt like crap…when walking upstairs took my breath away let alone walking up with a basket of laundry in my hands…when I went to bed every night saying a grateful prayer that “today wasn’t the day I had a heart attack”, when I was too tired to keep up with my friends on various adventures and I wasn’t invited on a wild and crazy shopping trip to the States a few months back as they didn’t think I could keep up with the pain from my hips (and believe me…I wouldn’t have been able to), when I felt depressed, sad, lonely, exhausted, at my wits end and absolutely miserable with myself…not until then, when my blood work was out of whack and I was put on medication for high blood pressure…it was then, that I decided I needed a lifestyle change.
Getting thinner is a bonus…a massive and wonderful bonus at that…but I did it to feel better…much much better…so I could stop being worried that today was the day it all ends…so I could be around for my children and grandchildren…and so I’m invited to the next girl’s crazy shopping weekend away without any hesitation about my health whatsoever.
I’m not standing on the scales just yet. My clothes are looser and I’m noticing drastic differences in my body…but the biggest difference is the way I feel. The extra energy, less pain, ability to get up and go, better movement, more strength…and much happiness and hope for my future!
And THAT is more important than any number I see on the scales.
I have a long way to go but to be honest, I’m super glad there’s a “go” to get to…a place where I can start wishing and dreaming of all of the things I want to do…the travels and adventures and time spent with family and friends…a whole new life feeling brighter and healthier than I have in a very long time.
New clothes and a thinner body…well that’s just the icing on top!
Discolouse: My health and wellness journey is sponsored by the amazing folks at Cornerstone Naturopathic. The entire team at the clinic is working with me to get my life back on track! We’ve approached everything from a health perspective…with the weight loss being a massive bonus. I feel good. Better than I have felt in years. Cornerstone is truly in my corner…they want me to succeed and are giving me the tools I need to get there. The Doctors and staff have been a wealth of knowledge and even greater cheerleaders through this journey. My success…is their success as well. If you’re looking for a lifestyle change…check them out. While I’m partnering with them on the blog…all opinions I write are my own.