Man tracker…

Drinking a glass of wine… checking out my online hotties… my neighbour drops over to ask if I’d like to play “Man Tracker” with her at the pond down the street.  Hell yeah!  What does she think I’ve been doin’ for the last hour.

It all makes sense to me now.  Yesterday she hauled me off to the Academy of Cosmetology for a manicure, pedicure and facial.  Says it was a birthday treat… but low and behold it was all a trick to get ready for this particular moment… MAN TRACKER! 

I log out… down my final ounce of wine and head out the door.  It’s my moment to shine!

I arrive at the pond in record time as my beautiful neighbour is explaining the rules.  There’s running, hiding, walkie talkies… water, rocks, thorns, mountains…. stay away from the road… find a good hiding place… ambush… communicate… flush them out.  They’re sneaky little devils!  Trap the slow ones.  Attack anything that moves.

What’s with all these kids?  I swear there’s thirty of them!  Sweet that all the neighbourhood children are helping me!  I need all the help I can get. 

We’re ready… we’re set… we’re off!!!

What the hell!  It’s a freakin’ game of tag!  Kids running everywhere and parents gone nuts running through the woods to catch them.  There’s crying, puking, bleeding… kids having the life scared out of them by grown adults… peeing their pants in fright and laughing like it’s the funniest thing ever!  There’s more fun, screaming and happiness than I’ve ever seen in one place… ever.

Who needs a man when I’ve got two laughing-hilariously-trying-to-catch-their-breath children thrilled that I joined in this ridiculous game that my crazy neighbour is all to happy to entertain them with.  Momma’s running through the woods wearing flip flops, wrecking her new mani and pedi… and not having a care in the world!  It’s simply exhilarating!

Thank goodness the wine kicked in just before I took off up the hill to catch the slippery little one trying to get away from me!

Man Tracker… too fun!

The Academy of Cosmetology was a different sort of adventure altogether.  I’ve been buffed and scuffed, rubbed and scrubbed.  It’s not exactly a spa… but the girls are in training and happy to put it to practice.  I had a half decent massage of my neck and shoulders during my facial… but was too busy laughing and enjoying the company of my girlfriend laying in the blanket cocoon next to me to get the full benefit.

Any time spent with her is an adventure!  From relaxing to running… and everything in between.

I’m ready… I’m set… I’m off!  Look out men… hide… I’ve started tracking!  Chipped nails and all.