Ships start here…

The news in Halifax yesterday was fabulous!


Yup!  Over the next 30 years, the Irving owned Halifax Shipyard will be building ships… first expanding the shipyard and then, by 2013… cutting steel!  That’s 11,000 jobs coming to Halifax!

I’m aware it’s not 11,000 men coming to our fair city with this 25 billion dollar project!  Frankly, the math is confusing and considering I struggled with exponents with Spiderman last week… I’m not the best to be calculating this but what the hell… I’ll give it a go. (Oh… while I’m on this topic… am I the only one that didn’t know that any number to the exponent 0 is 1? Seriously… I thought anything multiplied by zero is zero but nooooooo…. not when you make the number really little and stick it in the upper right hand corner of the number you’re trying to multiply many times by itself… or in this case not  multiply by itself at all which for some stupid reason… makes the answer… one.)

Anyway, my understanding is that Halifax will be getting 11,000 “man jobs” over 30 years or “people jobs” really as I’m sure some of those “men” are actually “women” and while I’m all for equality of the sexes and all… lets get something clear… in my calculation I’m really only interested in the “man jobs.”

Also… since the contract is over 30 years and I’m 43… that puts me at 73 by the time the contract is over which by then, to be totally honest, I plan to be sitting in a comfy chair on a wraparound deck overlooking a lake with the man I plan on spending the rest of my life with sitting next to me.  So… the reality is I’m really more interested in the jobs available to shipbuilders, say… over the next ten years or so… or the first 33.33% of the project.

And… some of the men arriving in the city will definitely be married so that has to be considered and while it brings more families to the city to purchase cars, dine in restaurants, buy houses and any number of other things that local companies are suddenly totally excited over… my equation is only taking into account the “single men”.

Finally… “Cougar Math” will HAVE to be applied to the entire calculation which, if you aren’t aware of Cougar Math, I’ve had this one figured out for awhile.  It’s quite simple… in order to determine the age of the youngest person you are actually morally allowed to date… take your age, divide it in half  and add seven.  I’ve gotten so good at this math it’s not even funny!

All of these things need to be considered in the calculation to determine how many eligible single men are coming to Halifax which looks something like this:

(11,000 / 30) – 2X Chromosomes x 33.33% – married men
  (43/2) +7 

Keep in mind I don’t know my 6, 7 or 8 times tables and I failed grade 11 math (but I went to summer school that year where I met the most wonderful guy) so this calculation may need to be tweaked just a little!

I’m starting a new campaign to make it easier to determine which women are interested in meeting one of these new strong, handsome, employed fellas.  Look for the brown signs stating “Single Men Start Here . ca” popping up on lawns over the next few weeks!

I don’t know what the rest of you think… but yesterday, Halifax received some pretty awesome news!!!!