It’s been one of those strange weekends where I can’t keep my mind from going to crappy places.  I’m not sleeping… I’m fighting nightmares… and I’m feeling an overwhelming sense of doom and gloom.

It’s not helping that Gib, Prada and Crazy are all away… Mom and Dad left to drive to The Rock… Little-One left weeks ago… The Tall Blond is working and “The Littles” are spending the weekend with their grandparents.

I’m not good with “alone” time… time on my hands… left to my own devices. I’ve spent a bit of time catching up with a couple of girlfriends and there’s lots I could do around the house… but I feel like I’m waiting for some massive drama to suddenly drop into my lap.

I’m following Dr. Phil’s orders… or was it Dr. Oz? When my mind starts “going there”… where I swear I don’t want to be… rehashing the crap I’ve no business re-thinking and trying to make sense of the insanity… I shake my head, say “NEXT” and flip the page in my mind to something more pleasant.

It’s working… kind of… but I’m left with a tired head and crushing desire to eat everything in the house and spend money I don’t have just for some moment of instant gratification.

I’m doing neither… but not without effort.

It’s getting better… being alone… but to be honest, it doesn’t happen all that often. I think I’m on track for making positive changes in my life and for the most part I’ve never been happier… except every now and then… much as I try to fight it… stuff still gets in my head.

And it’s work… to push it away.