Just feel…

Yesterday, Prada told me one of the smartest things I’ve ever heard.

She told me to stop telling myself how I’m supposed to feel…and just feel.

So I fell apart.

The truth is, somedays it still hurts. What happened to my marriage. The facts that are sometimes still difficult to absorb…leaving an ache I can’t deny.

Time continues to have a way of healing. Of opening my eyes and making me see the  things I pretended not to see. Of making it clearer…and for the most part, better.

It makes me grateful for all that I have. For the person I am. Because of where I’ve been.

But despite how far I’ve come…every now and then, out of the blue, it hurts.

I’ve spent four years wading through uncharted territory. Making things better. Paving a path for my future. I’ve soul searched. Grieved. Fought. Panicked. Breathed.

I’ve seen things for what they were and trudged through the discomfort of moving forward.

Then, something surfaces and I fight off the feeling…hold it all in. Force an emotion to stay where it is but the reality is…I need to stop telling myself how I think I should feel…

and just feel.

Until time can take it away again.

Leaving it all in the past… where it really belongs.