Am I a “mom blogger” when I can’t blog about being a mom?
The fact is, as the kids get older…I’m a little less useful than I used to be. My once busy days of potty training, cleaning spills, cuddling in bed, tossing dirty beasts in the tub, adding food coloring to homemade play dough and picking up a multitude of toys have long been replaced with making sure there’s enough food in the fridge to fill their constantly empty pits. At the same time, making sure there’s enough gas in the car to drive them where they need to be.
I left the “mommy” phase long ago…and yearn for it back.
While others are deep in the throes of runny noses and nutty days…I’m a wee bit past my prime and wishing for a time back where I would have recorded every amazing moment like a pro!
Instead…they reside in my memories…in my calendars and diaries and the pages of their overstuffed and incomplete scrapbooks.
As a blogger of teens…there’s much I could write about parenting this crazy time except for the fact that they’re teens…and you can’t really write what you want to say as they’ll shut you down faster than you can say “mums the word”!
More than once, The Tall Blonde made her request of “don’t blog about this” and while Spiderman and Bones haven’t quite hit that stage…I know it’s coming. In fact, quite often, I’m left with a blog in my head about a funny moment or a sweet story…but know I can’t put it to print.
Spiderman suggested I do a “big reveal”. At the moment, while he’s incredibly proud of me, he thinks I should “out” our family…introduce who we really are…show our photos and say our names! While many readers already know who we are…there’s a great many more who have no idea and while Spiderman may be proud of me now, may not understand why I don’t put his photo up (unless he’s hidden behind a hockey mask, ski helmet or has his back turned)…while he may think it’s fine for me to reveal it all and tell it like it is…I have a feeling that as he heads into High School next year, he may not be quite so thrilled about me sharing his life.
Leaving me to wonder what kind of mom blogger am I…if I can’t really blog about being a mom?
The thing is, I’d honestly love to write about them growing up! Not tell their stories as they’re theirs to tell…but my reaction to those insane moments. The moments that leave you breathless and panicky…wondering how to parent while trying to form words in your head where there are no words! Things that attack me on a regular basis like wanting to stay out later, attend parties, crushes and first kisses, disappointments and joys, their fight to be independent and my bigger fight to keep them safe… funny and scary moments…endearing times.
I write about my children a fair bit…but I’m ultimately careful not to say too much for fear of embarrassing them….of protecting their privacy.
I can’t even tell you half MY stories for fear of embarrassing them!
But oh my God there’s SO MUCH I WANT TO TELL YOU!
For now, I’ll stay the course I’m on. I’ll find my voice while doing my very best to mind my manners but it leaves me a little bit lost for who I am as a blogger.
As I’m no longer their “mommy”, but I’m most definitely their “mom”.