Yesterday I lost it.
For weeks I’ve felt it. Just below the surface. Poking at me. Nattering. Keeping me on edge…full of adrenalin. Not allowing me to sleep with a head too full to rest.
I looked at my calendar.
Full of everything imaginable with an uncontrollable “to-do” list. Items that would normally reside on the top third of the paper, not even making the cut. Cleaning, cooking…regular everyday things…now tossed aside for the “more important.”
There are lightbulbs that need replacing. Bathrooms that need cleaning. Multiple things that need to get done with no time to fit anything in besides what I’m doing…
So I lost it.
I’m overwhelmed and while I can’t say I’m not enjoying what I’m doing…this blog, my work…I can say that I just needed a moment to let it all go.
And now, nothing’s really different except the nagging feeling that I’m doing everything at once and getting nothing right…is gone.
My “to-do” list hasn’t changed, the laundry didn’t mysteriously find its way into drawers, the dust didn’t flee from the furniture and the vacuuming didn’t get done. I didn’t replace a single light bulb that needed changing but the lights were suddenly switched on.
My kids are fine. I’m fine.
Everything is going to be just fine…in fact…
Everything’s kind of fantastic.
I continue to head in the right direction…I’m making contacts…I’m busy…all three children are where they’re supposed to be. I’m checking items off the list faster than I’m adding to it and the calendar…well, that will just continue to be full.
Which is a good thing.
I’m caught in a whirlwind of change and while I’m excited and exhilarated by everything before me…while I’m throwing balls in the air and juggling like I’ve never done before…I just needed to stop. Rest.
Watch it all drop.
In order to pick it all up…and start juggling again.