The day my son drove a wrench up my nose…


Not seven hours after I went for a CT Scan on Tuesday morning, did I get a phone call from the doctor’s office asking me to come in.

YEAH…that’s a fun phone call.

A few hours later, I was sitting in the office to hear the results…which weren’t nearly as bad as the ones in my head but still…bad enough.

Seems I’ve issues with my sinuses.


Something about being completely blocked…a polyp on one side…maybe scar tissue or more polyps on the other (possibly onaccounta the wrenching) and…

What? I never told you about the wrenching?

Well…see…Spiderman was two…Bones was under one…I was exhausted. When the baby napped, I laid down on the couch and Spidey wanted to play doctor except that…I didn’t buy him a doctor’s kit and instead, he was dressed as Bob the Builder with a yellow hard hat, rainbow suspenders and a belt full of tools. How bad could it be?

I drifted into “mom slumber” (both eyes slightly closed but still completely functional) as he lightly tapped my knees with a hammer, measured my feet with his mini rule, and sawed off my kneecaps with a plastic saw. All of a sudden, I felt the deep pressure followed by sharp searing pain that jolted me to my feet while grasping my face…as Spiderman The Builder stood there with a red plastic wrench in his hand and a baffled look in his safety goggled eyes.

Seems he was only trying to look up my nose the way the doctor had done with him when he’d had a little cold just the week before.

My sinus wall broke…I had some sort of issue with my balance for a few days that was discovered when I woke in the middle of the night and felt approximately 10,000 pounds and insanely dizzy. I was put on meds to stop the dizziness…and was unable to operate heavy machinery for a month which didn’t really matter…the only heavy machinery I’d been working was a crock pot, a food processor and a breast pump.

Anyway…it healed. Exceedingly well…or so we thought. But these constant sinus infections have had me thinking that the “wrenching” may be part of the problem as when things are full-blown miserable…I can feel the very spot that the child’s plastic wrench entered my system!

So…I have to see ENT and figure out a plan. Possible radiation the doctor tells me…to try to shrink whatever is going on inside…possible surgery. All I hear is that at the end of all of this, it’s possible, even probable, that these miserable sinus infections can come to an end…I’ll get my sense of smell back and there MAY come a day when I don’t carry ten pounds of tissues in my jacket pockets!

In the meantime, I’ve been placed on yet another medication to try to clear out the “severe blockage” and I’ve added a “neti rinse” to my daily beauty regime.

I’ve given it a go and I’m not entirely sure the neti-rinse is going to be completely effective as things are so out of hand that saline water was choking me rather than running out the other nostril and if I’m not mistaken…water was shooting out my ears like a human water fountain and it’s possible…I now have “swimmer’s ear!”

Seriously…it’s amazing I’m still single!

I’m happy I finally insisted on a CT Scan (thanks mom) and now will be going to an ENT and figuring things out. I’m not happy it took as long as it did and I’ve had a rotten time over the last year with one thing after the next! But…I’m looking to the positive…if they can’t figure this thing out soon, I can be a water feature at the park this summer!

And everybody loves an awesome water feature!