When I remembered what I’d forgotten…I laughed.
The wholeness of it hit me like a ton of bricks.
Yesterday, I spent the day trying to remember what I’d forgotten. I’d this nagging feeling that I was supposed to be somewhere…there was something I was meant to be doing…something I was clearly forgetting.
I’ve a lot on my plate. A work timeline that’s both full and exciting, and kids that are demanding at best! I’d just come off a weekend where both were busy with sports…a volleyball tournament hosted by the parents on our team and a lacrosse tournament leaving me needing a great deal of sleep and maybe a glass or two of wine.
The date kept bugging me.
Monday was coming quickly after an incredibly busy weekend where I’d not had time to do any extra work and something was on my mind…a deadline was looming…or I was to be somewhere…or something…
But when I looked at my calendar…nothing.
I went through my emails to see if I’d neglected to mark down an appointment…then looked at my texts…it was possible I meant to write something down “later” and later never came.
Yesterday, I delivered my car to the garage for a service appointment…an appointment I’d not forgotten. Spiderman is about to take to the road and I needed to check my car completely to make sure everything was good. I came back to work and continued on a few ongoing projects before heading into a meeting with the East Coast Mom’s where we planned out the next few months of #ECMChats.
It kept nagging at me…to the point that it was all I was thinking about…just trying to remember became my biggest task of the day because at any given moment I could get a phone call asking where I was or where a file was…I couldn’t shake the feeling.
I checked in on Facebook to see if The Tall Blonde had posted any more photos of her vacation in Sicily…part of me wanting to be there with her and the other part just wanting her home.
I picked up the car, made a little supper, answered a few emails, then headed off for a massage appointment with Bones…whose muscles have all but rebelled from the last two volleyball tournaments and she needed as much relief from her body as I needed from my brain.
While driving home…with the day coming to an end and no phone calls or emails to let me know where I’d messed up…I thought a little outside the box…away from my work and my kids to try to figure things out. Did I forget a birthday? Nope. No birthdays this week and my parent’s anniversary is next week so I hadn’t forgotten that and…
there it was…
and I started to laugh.
The date…what was nattering at me all day…was the day I got married.
And I’d totally forgotten!
When I was going through counselling I recall counting down the days until I’d gotten through the first year. My counsellor questioned what I thought was so special about day 366…what I thought would magically happen once the first anniversary, first birthday, first Valentine’s Day, Christmas and Easter were over.
The firsts were the hardest but on day 366…the pain didn’t end. Just as the counsellor predicted there were still the “seconds” and the “thirds”…and each year that followed until, as she suggested, eventually one day…I wouldn’t be counting anymore.
It took the seventh time until I realized I wasn’t counting anymore.
With a life that’s full of work and happiness…with kids who are awesome and busy…while I’m chasing from sporting events, planning driving lessons, relaxing muscles…looking at what’s ahead and what has to happen next on an overstuffed calendar…I’d completely forgotten to remember something that’s simply no longer on my radar.
It only took…the seventh time.
Until I finally forgot.