My Ducks Are Absolutely NOT in a Neat Little Row

About this post: I’ve been trying my hardest to get used to all three kids living their own lives…leaving me with this empty nest of mine. But I really miss the days when all my ducks were in a neat little row.


One of the difficult things about being an empty nest having no sweet clue where my ducks are!!! 

It’s a hard habit to break. From years of being the “keeper of the calendar” and making sure that everything was organized and colour coded so that all of us got to where we needed to be, arranging car-pools, bringing in help when needed, and making it work like a charm…to suddenly only having to worry about no one but yourself. 

I “ish” know what my kids are up to!  

Emily…she totally bailed! Up until a few months ago, she was living in Ottawa where we basically chatted daily and then low and behold…she up and moved to Spain! 

At least having visited Ottawa a few times, I knew “sort of” where she was when she told me her plans, had met many of her friends and had visited a lot of her favourite restaurants and coffee shops…but with Spain…I know NOTHING! Plus, with the 5 hour time difference, it adds a whole new element to our ability to chat as often as we once did. I’m learning…she’s sharing as much as she can and I’m watching her Instastories for updates when she visits a new pace…but this duckling of mine, she’s gone and completely quacked off on her mama!!!! 

Don’t get me wrong…I’m happy for her. THRILLED in fact. So much that I even helped her come to the decision to completely change her life and move to a foreign country. But still…Mama duck is really missing her little yellow bird!! 

Next up…Noah. WHAT’S WITH MALE DUCKLINGS ANYWAY?! He’s fiercely independent, not as forthcoming with information as the girls, and super busy with his girlfriend and work. He regularly comments on our family group text conversations and calls for a good check-in at least once a week. BUT…the duck has completely flown the coop and rarely if ever, needs his mama the way his mama needs to be needed!!!

The baby duck…well, thank God for the baby duck!!! Meg texts with me daily, I know her work schedule and I keep up with what’s going on in her life. We meet for breakfast at least once a week and I often try to see her another time but again, her work schedule is pretty chaotic. Typically, if she’s doing something out of the ordinary, she’ll send me a photo to say “hey look where I am” where sometimes, I think, how’d you get there, did you know you were going, was it on the calendar? 

WHY IS THERE NO LONGER A CALENDAR??? And how is it…that my kids are able to do everything on their own all of a sudden when, whilst living with me, I had to do it all!?

Everyone’s eating and sleeping, getting to where they need to be, staying healthy, and living their lives on their own terms and I’m over here sitting in my big ol’ empty nest wondering WTF just happened!

I’m proud of them. I taught them well. I’ve given them most of the skills they need to make it on their own and for the skills I didn’t teach them…I gave them the wherewithal to figure things out on their own. In fact, sometimes they even ask each other and don’t include me!!

But I gotta tell ya…I sure do miss the colour coded calendars and trying to fit four schedules into one knowing where everyone was at every given moment of the day. 

All those ducks…lined up neat and tidy. 

In a perfect little row. 


PS…that duck photo…it was taken when all three were little, walking on the path behind our house where we’d go to feed the ducks. It seems so long ago now.