I complain. I’m tired.
Week after week, night after night… rushing from the barn to the rink. A single mom. Two kids in need of my time… or at the very least, my driving ability that gets them where they need to be.
At times, I’m left with nothing for myself but an empty tank of gas.
My days, filled with classes and schoolwork… the housework and laundry both slipping into chaos leaving me embarrassed when folks drop by. Apologizing for the busy-ness… the mess… the dust. Horrified by what they can see and worse… by what they can’t.
But it’s worth it. It’s all worth it for the smiles on my children’s faces as they set their goals… then far outreach them.
Yesterday, Bones proved without a shadow of a doubt that every half hour drive to and from the barn… each time I grasp to finish homework in the car… all the loads of “barn laundry” and the bits of hay on the floor of my once-shiny car… it’s all worth it.
Because perched atop her beloved pony… a serious look upon her face followed by smiles from ear to ear matched only by the one on her coach’s face…. one show event after the next she gathered more ribbons… gained more confidence… felt more joy.
She’s growing up. Changing before my eyes. Shining in the happiness of her accomplishments making me realize that each drive to the barn is a blessing. Every half hour to and from… alone… her and I… listening to music and discussing the days’ events… it’s all a blessing.
This horse she adores. This barn she loves. The amazing people she spends her time with… who encourage her to be her very best… who listen and comfort, support and love. All the laundry and hay and horse poop and empty tanks of gas.
It’s all worth it.
Because mixed in with all the chaos in my life is my amazing little girl. Who sat atop her horse this weekend… in control… confident and beautiful… with a glorious smile.
That lights my heart… that gathers ribbons.